No Direction

A few days has passed, and I got into the groove. Well, not quite. This new browser really helps with establishing my work flow. I tried to reorganize my structure. I learned HTML and CSS for a couple of days. Made some progress and slow down a bit recently. I still have some troubles with […]

Less is more

So here we are. Closer and closer to the day I’ve been waiting for. Doubts? I may have. Fear? I do fear. But I won’t hesiatate. I won’t turn my tail. Now I realized what stopped me from doing my works. I was paralyzed by options. The only way to narrow my focus is, you […]

Turning point

I decided to go with Relativity. Things just slightly got better for the last couple days but I’m spiraling down quickly. Fear I can smell it. Fear of uncertainty, fear of change. Did I call myself a fearless man? Why can’t I handle this? I have so many problems to resolve right now. And I’m […]


There were a lot of things happened last month. I embraced my greatest fear: game. I didn’t resist it this time. I let it took full control over me while I was observing it. I thought maybe I was running away from it in the past, that’s why it always comes back and chases me […]


I think this is the most intense struggling I’ve encountered. It didn’t happen for a few days. It has been extending for a few months. I don’t know if this is the end. Yesterday, I listened to the AoM podcast and then later read The Primal Method: A book for emerging man. There were a […]

6 Degree

It was 5:34 when I walked outside, or that number just somehow crept into my mind without any possible validity. It was really cold, and I started to think that I should get back inside. But I kept going. Arrived at the park, there was this familiar sense of awakening, but still I was stagnant. […]


Well, I must say the relationship I just involved is quite drastic. It burned too fast within one month. I think we both know that we don’t want to continue anymore. I’m not sad. It just has to end, and fortunately, it ended in peace. I think I can feel there was something wrong with […]

Here I am home

Home again. I need to be. It’s been two week since I dated her. After the initial stage, I am now ready to settle in a more stable stage. I’ve changed the course of my future. Leaving physics behind, I now pursue Computer Science. This seems to resolve my inner conflict for so long. Would […]

Astray. Bottom Line

It has been three months since the morning routine kicked off. I succeeded for half of the time. Lately, I just couldn’t wake up early anymore. Though I know it’s all in my head but I can’t get over my head. No more motivation, no more willpower. I have bigger underlying problem to resolve. My […]


I’ve been letting myself get distracted. This cycle is almost complete another revolution. I only have a few days left to write my research paper. I cannot let him down this time. Think about what it feels like when I should have my own research paper? I need, really, to finish this. It’s an important […]